I have found that fight or flight, in some seasons of our lives, is a daily choice.
Because of the petrol shortage, we must walk to school every day. We could drive our car if we wanted to wait in line with the thousands of cars in Kathmandu with no promise of receiving our small ration. Ain’t nobody got time fo’ that!
The first couple weeks, it was kind of fun. Some sort of new adventure. After all, we kinda thrive on crazy around here. But after a holiday break, returning to an hour and a half of walking the hills of Nepal was hard to face. By Friday, I was thinking, “This lifestyle is just not sustainable.” But given the option between riding on TOP of a bus (a common sighting these days, though previously illegal), I guess I’ll take the sore feet and sunburn. Fight.
Not many Americans, would argue that this life of walking to school and cooking for our family on a hot plate (there is also a propane shortage) in between power cuts is challenging. Soon, it will become very cold, and without propane, it will be nearly impossible to warm our home.
My kids already look like eskimos going to bed! My poor daughter won’t be able to take a bathroom break for all the layers. We will be getting creative with hot water bottles and whatever else we can get our hands on…or over. I’ve warmed my hands over the toaster. I am not ashamed. Fight.
Though, at times, everything inside of me says, “This is too hard. Give up.” I can’t. This wild place has my heart. I know only God could do that. When faced with the possibility of having to leave due to the difficulties, I am heartbroken. I want to fight.
In natural disasters. Fight.
In political upheaval. Fight.
In shortages. Fight.
In family trials. Fight.
And if I fly, I pray I fly only to the feet of Jesus. Only He can give me the power and grace to stay in the fight. To drag my feet up the steep hill home. Because Lord knows I’m about to fall flat.
But I will fight…
I would love to hear your experiences in the comment section below!
My human tendency is flight! But in doing so, more times than not, I missed blessings. As a mother, the tendency for me was to gather the kids, tuck my head in, and fall to the floor. Especially if I am physically exhausted! That isn’t what they needed to learn about my faith in God! We serve a mighty, loving God! We in America have forgotten the faith of our fathers (and mothers) in the dark Depression era or World Wars that claimed so many lives. We are so weakened by materialism and ease. Most would not have the ingenuity to warm bottles as you have done! In my own experience…I know that it was God, only God working! Power outages, fuel shortages, and bomb scares were common occurrences for us during a time span of 10-15 years. But as you say, we found God faithful. He always showed himself sufficient and all caring…even in the smallest details! Our children learned so much by watching God work and provide…maybe not in the same way as other people saw abundance materially, but we got to see the heart of the people and understand their needs. We pray God will provide abundantly for you all and give much fruit that will remain! (I challenge all of us to get out and walk 1 1/2 hours as dear Amber and Paul do every day!)
I always love hearing from you! You have gleaned so much experience and wisdom from your time on the field! I know you can relate and it is encouraging to hear how God walked you through these times as I know he will with me
Thank you for writing this friend. And thank you for fighting! You are a constant source of encouragement to me. Love you and so proud of you and how you have let the Lord work in your life so greatly in such a short (but highly eventful!) time on the field! God has big plans…but we’ve known that for a while now :)… ps: I think I wanted to fly every single day for the first year “season of life” :)…losing a baby, culture shock, language school, illness and extreme cold…I kept thinking “what was I thinking…thinking I could handle this?” Thankfully God blessed me with an amazing husband who held me down and encouraged me to fight by constantly showing me Jesus and reminding me that His Grace would be and is sufficient. Thanks again for writing this, and for fighting through situations much tougher than mine :). We all need to be reminded to keep fighting!
I would disagree that this time is harder than yours! Would not be able to do this after losing a child! I am blown away by Gods grace in your life to get you through that time AND learn Chinese (what???). I wrote long ago on women behind the scenes about how stories like yours encouraged me so and gave me the confidence in God to go to the mission field. This has helped me so much! Thank you for your testimony. So glad God gave us these men to keep our heads on straight and each other as friends to chat things out. Love you!