Category: Motherhood

There Really Were Songs Yet to Sing [Day 28: SONG]

#Write31Days / Misc. / Motherhood / Pregnancy LossOne Comment

My dad wrote me a poem called Still Yet Songs to Sing when we lost our second child, Ezra Coleman to miscarriage late in my pregnancy in 2013. It was such a sweet gesture and encouragement to me. It showed a father’s heart moved with grief for daughter’s pain, and I know it mirrored my heavenly Father’s heart in that way.

I was so broken at that time, completely wrecked with this great loss. I hadn’t asked for a second child, yet God granted me the precious gift of life far earlier than we would have planned. We welcomed the gift and spent those 5 months planning and dreaming for our little one. It was a dark year as we reeled from the sudden tragedy, and during that year, we had to continue traveling around the US raising support for our future ministry. I sobbed in many a church bathroom and pasted a smile on when someone asked how many children I had and I replied that I only had one. A few times, a well-meaning soul would say, “She needs a little brother!” And I would think, “She had one, ” or “We tried to give her one.”

There really were still yet songs to sing. There were still ways we were gonna get up and work for the Lord just how we dreamed we would, but we had to walk through that dark valley first. What’s funny about these types of thorns in the flesh is that they can be so healing if we are submissive to the Father’s hand at work to bring restoration. I could barely stand up on my own two feet so I had no other choice than to lean on Christ. That time of immense pain shaped me into the wife, mom, and lady in ministry that I am today. At the time I think I said I was grateful, but I wasn’t quite feeling it yet. I’m feeling it now.

Sometimes God allows great pain to enter into our lives. Knowing that death and loss were not a part of His perfect plan from the beginning, we know He does not delight in doing this. However, because of His display of love on the Cross and His daily graces in our lives, we can trust He will work all things — even the hardest things — for our good when we come out on the other side.

Even though it may not feel like it, we will come out on the other side of grief. May we come out singing!

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And we will… come out on the other side. Even though it feels like we’ll never make it there. We will come out grateful. We will come out singing, praising God for all He has done. Broken but healing hearts crying out, “The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

I’m singing now and, by His grace, I am serving Him on the other side of the world. We have two precious children now and are perfectly content with the life we have been given. But we will never forget that little boy we held for just a few moments. His memory will forever impact the songs I sing and the way I fall into the Father’s arms — because Ezra taught me how.

I “make” God big in my life when I accept hurt from His hand and trust Him to heal me. Knowing He will give me songs to sing, I can walk first through the dark valley as He guides me to the other side.

What trials has God brought you out of to sing His praise?

Talk to me in the comment section below!

My Whole Life is a Song of Worship [Day 27: WHOLE]

#Write31Days / Marriage / Misc. / Missional Living / Motherhood2 Comments

I tend to see my life in fractured segments — one part mommy, one part wife, one part Sunday school teacher, church-planter’s wife, etc. All these roles come with different tasks and I am defined by those tasks at the time I am doing them. It’s tough for me to see my life in Christ as one whole offering to God, but that’s the way He sees it. The truth is, He already owns every part of me and gives me each work I get to do for Him.

I want my whole life to be a song of worship to Jesus. Whether I am reading the 12th book in a row to my toddler or teaching Bible truths to a roomful of rowdy kids, I want my heart to be completely in tune to the will of God in my life. I desire for my marriage to be sweet and loving — the kind that shows the love of Christ to a world suffering from the consequences of selfish sins. I long for my testimony as a mother to be that of one gently leading her family and teaching Christ’s ways from a patient and pure heart (long way to go on this one, I know!). I want my efforts in ministry to be characterized by single-minded devotion to Christ and a true heart to make him known.

There aren’t just bits and pieces of my life that are sacred and the other inconsequential. God is with me in every moment and calls me to honor Him in each seemingly insignificant segment of my life. This is why He tells me in His word how to live as a wife, mother, friend, and child of God. I am instructed to both care for my home and for the widows and orphans. I’m taught how to handle my money and treat people ranging from my enemies to my authority in the workplace. There are few issues of life the Bible does not address, and the general wisdom we find in its pages can be applied to those. Moreover, God gives His followers guidance and discretion through the Holy Spirit. He does not leave us guessing how to live.

God does not leave His children guessing how to live.

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Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

1 Corinthians 10:31-33 gives instruction about eating and drinking but also gives further instruction on how to live our whole lives.

Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. Give none offence, neither to the Jews, nor to the Gentiles, nor to the church of God: Even as I please all men in all things, not seeking mine own profit, but the profit of many, that they may be saved.

My whole life should be an offering to God. Whatever I find to do, I should do it like I’m doing it directly to the Lord — because I am according to Colossians 3:23. I don’t seek first to please men, but I seek to honor God by blessing others and not giving cause to blaspheme the name of Christ. I resist the urge to serve myself in all that I do because a follower of Jesus is set apart for something better. Serving Christ and serving others with my whole life. I don’t have to wonder what God wants from me. This is it.

I’m so pleased I can honor God while drinking my coffee and eating a donut on Sunday morning while my kids buzz around me.  Loving Him and dwelling on His goodness is something I can do in my pajamas. That’s something I can get on board with!

I “make” God big in my life when I choose to see my entire life as an offering to Him. I trust Him to use even the smallest bits of my life to bring glory to His great name.

In what ways can you serve Christ with your WHOLE life?

Talk to me in the comment section below!

Motherhood Made me Beg God to Reign over Mouth [Day 13: TALK]

#Write31Days / Misc. / Motherhood4 Comments

In the heat of the summer with no A.C. and too much on my mind, I found my fuse had become shorter than usual. I was impatient with my kids and irritated with my husband. I was a real GRUMP. Looking around on the reading app I use, I found a book called Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses by Amber Lia and Wendy Speake. I knew I needed to read it. It was a Biblical challenge to examine my own tendencies towards sin and selfishness. It called me out on my sinful angry reactions with my family. It kicked me in the pants in the most holy way.

In the mornings, before I got out of bed, I began with a simple prayer “Lord, reign over my mouth.” Most days that was all I could muster before my two wild ones barged in my bedroom door a few minutes before 6 a.m. as per the daily routine. My triggers started early and appeared often, but it was my decision to let the Holy Spirit reign over my mouth or let the Enemy have His way in my home at my hand. It’s a daily battle — one I lose often. But it is worth fighting every day. The Lord, my strength and my redeemer makes victory possible.

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.

Psalm 19:14

The words of my mouth — my talk — starts first in my heart. The things I dwell on deep inside find their way to the tip of my tongue. This is why it is imperative for me to be filling myself up with Biblical wisdom so I may talk truth to myself when my temper wars against the right I know to do. This is why I must guard my mind from worldly things that creep in and work against me. This is why I must empty myself and say, “All for Jesus.”

The things I dwell on deep inside find their way to the tip of my tongue.

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I desperately need Him to reign over my heart and mind each day. And I’ll keep asking Him trusting He will use me in spite of me and provide all I need to conquer my sinful reactions to all of life’s circumstances and all the people in it.

I “make” God big in my life when I talk the truth and allow God to reign over my heart, mind, and mouth. 

What area of your life do you need to ask God reign over?

Talk to me in the comment section below!

Extraordinary Beauty in Your Ordinary Life

Marriage / Misc. / Missional Living / Motherhood23 Comments
Five Minute Friday: BEAUTY

God can use the ordinary moments in your life to glorify himself by conforming you into the image of his Son. That is precisely what he intends to do.

Gloria Furman

A mother weeping over a wayward child, love spilling onto a soaked pillow.
A wife overcoming exhaustion to minister to her husband when he returns home downtrodden after a long day.
A missionary drinking tea with the locals, struggling in her second language.

 

There’s beauty in the ordinary though it may not always be obvious outside of your Instagram feed. God does miracles on ordinary days and uses ordinary people to accomplish His will in the world. He transforms brokenness into bellowing declarations of His majesty — it’s the kind of business He’s best at. He brings glory to Himself and beauty in our lives as He shows off who He is by making us more like Him.

beauty

Beauty is dying to self and humbling ourselves before a holy God even if it is manifested in wiping noses and matching socks. The most glorious moments of our lives are often the hardest to live out because the most beautiful story ever told required blood, death, and sacrifice, and we are called to retell that story each day in both the miraculous and the mundane.

Beauty is dying to self and humbling ourselves before a holy God even if it is manifested in wiping noses and matching socks.

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When we look around, we may only see the mess, but we trust that the God that makes all things new, brings life out of death and shines light into the darkness is at work to redeem it all. We keep our eyes on Him — a miraculous display of transformative power. Little by little, we being to resemble Him in the smallest of ways as this transformative power touches each part of our lives. Is there anything more beautiful than that?

Tell me something beautiful God has done in your life this week.

Talk to me in the comment section below!

Linking up with: Five Minute Friday

Peace in my Inability to do #Allthethings

Marriage / Missional Living / Motherhood5 Comments
Five Minute Friday: WHY

I glance at my to-do list and see #allthethings that went undone this past week. I moan as the thoughts begin to flood my mind, “WHY can’t I keep up with it all? WHY am I such a bad mom? WHY can’t I be a better help to my husband?” I aspired to do #allthethings. I planned to do #allthethings. So, what happened? Certainly the answer lies in my inefficiency, my inadequacy.

Somewhere in the middle of this self-deprecating sesh, Scriptural truth drowned out the noise of negative emotions:

Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.  And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work:
2 Corinthians 9:7-8

I don’t have to do #allthethings — no one asked me to. But the things I choose to do and the ways I choose to serve others should be done with a cheerful heart. Not because it needs to be done but because I have intentioned to do it and to do it with a proper attitude of service. But how can I do this when I’m knee-deep in monotonous tasks and overwhelmed by my own inability?

Photo by Michael Carnevale on Unsplash

I rely on the grace of God which abounds to me. It is more than enough and is greater than #allthethings in the world put together! That changes everything. His grace is never out-matched by my lengthy to-do list or naively ambitious aspirations. He gives the measure of grace I need each day to do the things that really matter — to love my children and my husband, to serve others around me and proclaim the name of Christ as I go.

In his abundance, I find –though I may not be able to do #allthethings– I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. And I’m so grateful for #allthethings He has allowed me to do for Him today.

 

Though I may not be able to do #allthethings, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

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